Chocolate  Wrappers and Handheld Games
by SaneYaoiAddict
Summary: Just a collection some Matt/Mello stories, some involving shounen-ai and possibly mentions of sex, but not necessarily. But will involve: chocolate, lightsabers, trophies, cigarettes, etc. And chocolate.
1. Trophy Troubles

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or anything else. Unfortunately. **

We were at some stupid awards ceremony when it happened. Again. Fucking Near got first place again, and I was expected to watch him _not care_ that he was twice as smart as me without trying half as hard. Even when he wasn't at his best, he was better than me.

Matt and I—and _him_— were backstage. The top three got trophies and had to speak to the crowd. Oh, yeah. Such a great idea. 'Oh, here Mello, _second_ again. You _almost_ beat him this time.' I hated those teachers nearly as much as I hated Near.

Matt stroked my arm reassuringly, calming me down slightly, but I didn't stop glaring at Near. I never did.

"Please applaud for out third highest-ranked student, Matt—"

They wouldn't recognize us here. They're recognizing our accomplishments, but they never recognized _us_.

"—and the hard work he's put in."

"Bullshit," I muttered to him, catching his smile and throwing back one of my own. I saw him disappear through the curtain as a light applause came from the audience of fellow students, police, and other law enforcement agencies. They were determining the next L out of us three.

_Fuckers. He deserves better, and you know it._

As I was trying not to growl at them, I heard him chuckle lightly, nervously, into the microphone as he started his half-assed speech. I helped him 'write' it last night. He had no desire to be L, unlike me, and didn't want to do any of the work.

He stopped talking, and there was the same light applause as before. I clenched my fists. First, I lost to Near. I was, unfortunately, used to that. But when someone fucks with matt? I lose it. I fucking _lose_ it.

I had to keep my cool, though. If I didn't, they wouldn't respect me as L, and Near would win. I couldn't let that happen.

"And now, I'd like to introduce Mello, currently ranked second—"

I walked onto the stage without waiting for him to finish his introduction. I got more applause than Matt did, but it was still depressing. I took the small, silver trophy with my code name engraved into it, then walked up to the podium, giving my well-thought out, well-rehearsed speech.

Those fuckers applauded, and I walked over to Matt on the other side of the stage, waiting for this whole thing to be over, like me. He smiled at me, but I was still too angry to smile back meaningfully.

"Now, our best prospect, and the best choice for you, ranked first during his entire time at Wammy's, Near!"

The crowd applauded wildly, and I ground my teeth in anger. I didn't even have any chocolate to eat, to calm me down. So, they thought Near was _better_ than _both_ matt and I? I'd show them just how wrong they were.

"I would like to give sincere thanks to everybody present. Obviously, I have proven that I am the best prospect successor to the L nam—"

They didn't get to hear the rest of his speech. Fuckers should thank me. That was the moment I lost what was left of my self-control. I threw my pitifully small, annoyingly not-gold trophy at him, miniscule compared to his. Fucking overcompensator.

I heard startled gasps from the crown as it hit him in the head, hopefully breaking his weak little skull. The best part, however, was the way he sickeningly hit the ground with that _thud!_, lump, and the screams from the audience that came with it.

"Mello! I am sick of your obscene, grossly inappropriate behavior! You are unfit to—"

And Matt handed me _his_ trophy, which I gladly threw at Roger. Maybe he'd get a concussion, and forget all about this. In any case, I was sick of his constant bitching me out.

Matt grinned at me again, brushing the hair out of my eyes before leaning in to kiss me.

God, I loved the way this boy read my mind.

_**A/N: I had fun writing this one. **__**Though I should be writing the other stories I've been working on,**__** this just wouldn't get out of my head. Review? (:**_


	2. Eatin' Chocolate

"Hey, Mels?" Matt asked cutely, distracting Mello from his schoolwork.

"What?" he asked. If Matt made him lose to Near again, he was going to lose it.

"What'chya doin'? he asked, leaning over him as Mello shut his book, annoyed that he couldn't concentrate any longer. To calm his nerves, and out of habit, he took his bar of chocolate and shoved it into his mouth, snapping off a piece.

"Eatin' chocolate, since you won't let me _study_! You ass, maybe I should wring your neck instead."

Matt paid no mind to Mello's empty threat, instead continuing to smile and keep asking—in Mello's opinion— stupid questions.

"Where'd you get it?" he asked, grinning like an idiot.

"What the hell kind of pointless— this is that stupid game, isn't it?"

"Just answer it, Mels. I _know_ you know it."

Matt never got an answer, because Mello took his calculus textbook of at least a thousand pages in his hands, and hit Matt suddenly over the head, making him lose his balance and fall over.

"There. I don't remember that stupid joke, and now, hopefully, neither do you."

_**A/N: So, in case any of you don't get it, this is based on a children's joke. It goes, basically, like this:**_

_**Whatchya doin'/Eatin' chocolate/Where'd ya get it/ Doggy dropped it/Where's the doggy/Behind the door/What's he doin'/ Makin' more**_

_**I figured that it'd be cute for them. And, since Mello really **_**can**_** answer that, I decided to do it. (: Review? It could possibly make me not want to stab the kid next to me in class with a pen. **_


	3. Matt's Lightsaber

_**A/N: Blah blah blah, don't own Death Note, or The Princess Bride, which is basically what Matt's 'quoting' if you don't know. Which you should…**_

Matt had set up his pillows so that they were 'standing up,' in a sense, tall enough for him to strike down. He taped Light Yagami's—the prime Kira suspect, whom he hated with all his being—face to one, Misa Amane's to another, and a mask Near often used to a third.

He gripped his weapon tightly. He charged at Light first, after a small 'speech' of sorts, based off a movie he'd seen with the others. "My name is…" he muttered Mail Jeevas softly, afraid somebody would hear it and punish him, "… You killed L. Prepare to die."

He unleashed a rather loud, hearty battle cry as he did so. He aimed for the face repeatedly, attacking violently and yelling until the paper ripped to the point that it was unrecognizable. The pillow fell over, and he kicked it once more for good measure. Light Yagami was now dead. He smiled at that.

He panted, wiping some sweat off of his forehead. He still couldn't allow himself to rest, however. There were still two more enemies, one very deadly, although appearing to be innocent. Matt and Mello were both in danger. Matt could save both of them if he kept going.

He went after Misa next. Such a shame to have to ruin such a pretty little face, especially one that looked vaguely like Mello's. But he went through with it enthusiastically. Once he turned his weapon on Near, about to start his passionate speech on why he had to die for Mello to be happy, there was a knock at the bedroom door Matt had closed.

"Matt! Dinner's ready. Let's go."

It was Mello's voice. No! It was a trick, to stop him from saving the world from evil. Matt didn't let him in. "No, go away, evil Mello!"

Mello barged through the door, most likely having picked the lock somehow, as he'd done at every opportunity since he'd learned how. He held back laughter as he took in the scene before him. "Is that a lightsaber? That's cute." He said, sarcastically, as he stepped closer. "You're such a nerd. Let's go."

He sighed as Matt resisted, running away and hopping on the bed, brandishing his lightsaber somewhat-threateningly. Mello sighed, grabbing a struggling Matt by the shirt collar and pulling him off the bed. He dragged him through the door while being hit with the plastic weapon, while Matt screamed, "Die, evil Mello!" in hopes of getting him to release his grip. Mello finally stopped in his tracks, fed up of this behavior, and turned around to look at Matt with cold eyes.

"Cut it out, unless you want that shoved up your ass," he growled.

Matt looked back at him, wide-eyed and pale, as he dropped the lightsaber and followed him to the cafeteria.


	4. Fundraiser

_**A/N: I've had no humorous ideas in the past month. My angst-fics have sucked that all out of me. But I guess all it takes is a chocolate fundraiser at my school to pull me out of it…**_

**Warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, and swearing. **

It was that time of year again. That God-given, perfect time of the year, better than the days the older kids managed to score some alcohol. Hell, it was better than sex with Matt.

It was the day the fundraiser started. Which was a damn big deal. Raising us Wammy kids— aw, Hell, by that I mean me— requires a massive amount of money and attention. Every year, L had us "learn the value of hard work" (or some bullshit like that) by having us sell food to the families in nearby neighborhoods.

It was a big fucking deal. Since, after all, it was a fundraiser started by _L_— the best man in the entire world, who will kill that bastard Kira one day, and if he can't, I'll do it for him, with my bare hands, and rip out his trachea with my teeth— the greatest-quality-in-the-world sweets were on sale: cakes, cookies, pies, and even some fruit shit covered in syrup.

And chocolate.

Damn, I would do anything for that chocolate— and everyone knew it. L hadn't trusted me to sell it (not even in my first year; I'd never gotten my hands on the same amount of the glorious sweet as the others, the ones who couldn't _appreciate_ it the way I could), but I had my ways of _getting_ it, even though none of us had any money. Which completely nullifies L's "learn the value of a dollar" argument.

Everyone knew just what I would do for it, and the smart ones— because, though it's an orphanage for geniuses competing to be the next L, half the people here _are_ dumbasses— stayed out of my way.

For damn good reason, too. Once, when I went out with Matt as he sold the sweets (I was allowed to go out, provided that I was supervised, and it was sure that I would _not_ eat the chocolate, or even touch it) the family— I remember a small girl being there, at the door, watching us intently— bought some chocolate.

To prevent the catastrophe of someone _besides_ me eating chocolate, I did what any perfectly sane genius would do: I tackled Matt roughly to the ground as he was about to complete the transaction and give the chocolate away wastefully, pried the chocolate from his hands, and ate it, then kissed Matty in front of them.

For some reason, that family sent us away, and I have a restraining order now. Tch. Homophobes. Their son didn't seem at all bothered by us, though.

The perverts, however, were another story. They would make me go to incredible lengths for my chocolate. Usually, I just punched them and took their entire box full of the precious chocolate. One year, though… A group of guys decided to jack themselves off— heh, losers, that's why I have Matt— and cum on the chocolate. _My _chocolate. They called it, oh-so-creatively, "milk chocolate."

Perverts. I wiped it off and force-fed them their own cum, then ate the chocolate anyway. And that was the closest they'll ever be to a blowjob.

No, by the way. I do not suck cock for chocolate. I _do_ have standards— I'm so much better than that. I can do so much more. I _am_ a professional, after all. I'm going to be the next L. No one else stands a chance against me.

I want some damn chocolate, _now._ I think I'll just go kick Near's ass; that's always satisfying, even when there _isn't_ chocolate involved.

_**A/N: I literally wrote this five minutes ago out of boredom. It's kind of random and choppy, I think, but… Yeah. Hope you liked this one. **_


	5. Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

_**What a better way to celebrate Matt's birthday than to tell about his first meeting with Mello? 3 I think it's funny. **_

The limo pulled up to the gated, obviously old but well-taken-care-of orphanage, and the ten-year-old blonde boy stepped out importantly, before it sped off into the distance. His parents had been killed in a car crash less than a week ago, but that wasn't the cause of his frustration at the moment. He would be expected to _interact_ with these good-for-nothing, stupid (he'd been told they were of above-average intelligence, like him, but seeing them now, he doubted that it was a true statement), _loud_ children before him. Ugh. He loathed each and every one of them already, and would assert himself as the smartest, strongest, _best_ one of them all, no matter what.

On his way to the main building, following a stone pathway, he stepped over a white-haired younger boy lying on the ground, playing with a toy robot. He had the look of someone who had been forced to go outside; he was under the shade of a large tree. He walked a few steps away, knowing he was still in earshot, and muttered under his breath to the kid, "Idiot."

He didn't hear a reply, but the white-haired boy looked up to stare at him. Huh. Maybe he _did _respond to "Idiot." This kid would be fun to tease. Maybe he could make him a servant, to cater to his every whim. Chocolate sounded heavenly at the moment.

He turned back and nudged the boy on the ground with his shoe, making a face as if he were now contaminated. "You. Fetch me some chocolate."

"There is some in the kitchen." He didn't even react to the prodding at all, so he kicked him harder this time.

"Did I ask where it was? Go bring it to me."

He growled, and considered kicking the insolent boy again to teach him a lesson, when an old man— most likely the headmaster, or someone equally important— walked towards him.

"Are you our newest student? You were told to report to my office immediately on arrival." His tone made him seem cold, as if he couldn't care less what the boy did, and was being torn from more important matters.

"Fine."

"What were you doing to him?" He gestured to the boy on the ground, with dirt on his white clothes from his shoes.

"Please, sir! I was just talking, I swear."

"Meet me in my office." The man walked away, and he followed closely behind, yet far enough away that he wouldn't notice should he decide to "talk" to anyone else.

Sure enough, he walked into a redheaded kid a little younger than him on the way. Literally, _walked into._ He dropped the game system he had been playing while walking, and it clattered to the floor, the motions on the game freezing. When the boy glared at him, he shot one of his own back, his blue eyes icy cold.

"Watch it," he said, continuing on his way to the office without a second look back at the boy. Was this place full of weirdos, or what?

"You're here. What do you wish to be known as? Write it down," he said, as the blonde entered the office, then hastily added the next part as he opened his mouth to speak.

After a moment of thought, he hastily scrawled, "Mello" on the line, the name a touch of irony in his mind— although the ten-year-old couldn't spell some simple words, no matter what, even though he thought he could.

Though he didn't know it, this was a mistake he would carry around for the rest of his life.

"Fine. Now, you can choose your roommate. We have two choices for you— it is based on intelligence, after all. Matt…" the man gave Mello a picture of the redhead from earlier, who'd given him attitude, and his face paled.

"…Or Near?"

He produced a picture of the white-haired boy who'd disobeyed his order earlier.

_ Kill me now,_ he thought.

_** A/N: I just couldn't resist the idea of Mello spelling such a simple word incorrectly, even though he is a genius. He's ten. It's cute. And I don't care if he wouldn't be able to choose a roommate in a "normal" orphanage. He does, because… Mello's special. Heh. Reviews? Can you tell that I wrote this quickly? **_


	6. Because

_**A/N: Just something this guy on my bus inspired, that he'll never know about. XD …They're not perfectly in character, forgive me.**_

"We have a new resident joining us today," the teacher said. The announcement was unnecessary; Wammy's was occupied only by genius children. Even if it wasn't, this would have been obvious; a redheaded boy was already standing in front of the class, his eyes focused on the ground, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

The class just stared at him, slightly interested in the new boy, and most were glad from the distraction from actual lessons.

"And he wants to introduce himself."

What total bullshit. Matt never been very social. All he wanted was to go sit in the back and play his games. Even if he'd been told that this place was too advanced to not pay attention, he knew he would do it anyway.

"...Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

All eyes were on Matt, even the ones that were ignoring him before. He knew his face was red; he didn't like attention from anybody, and wasn't used to it. It was awkward for him.

As he scanned the faces in the room, some watching him intently, others lazily staring, he caught sight of a blonde boy, head on the desk, disinterested. The blonde met his eyes and glared at him, making him shiver; those eyes could tear him apart, control him… With no effort.

The blonde went back to acting bored, staring at him without really focusing. He looked away and said a hasty, "I'm Matt," to the class before quickly heading toward the back of the nearest row. As he passed the blonde boy, he grabbed his wrist and glared at him coldly.

"Why were you staring at me?"

A faint blush appeared on his cheeks as he was confronted, but he wasn't as scared as he should be; the blonde was blushing, too.

He looked rather feminine, actually; delicate, as if he couldn't harm anybody. Matt wondered if this whole cold, violent behavior was only an act. But those eyes… They washed away any doubt he had.

He just gave a carefree, teasing answer. For some reason, he wanted this boy to like him, wanted to joke with him, wanted to be friends. He really hadn't had a friend before, but maybe he could start.

"Because."

The boy said nothing further, only rolling his eyes as he released Matt's wrist. He continued to walk to the back of the room, sitting in the very back corner. He did want to befriend this boy—if that was possible; he seemed harsh, despite his seemingly feminine appearance, with the way he glared—but he didn't want to sacrifice his game time just yet. Besides, he seemed focused on the lesson, anyway—any time Matt glanced at him, he was taking notes, or asking a question (though, there was one time when he hit the albino kid with a crumpled piece of paper, that obviously had some sort of insult written on it from the way he looked back to the blonde when he opened it). He wouldn't have had a chance to talk to him, anyway. He was content with his game, anyway.

A while later, the teacher dismissed the class. Matt, busy focusing on his game, doing his best to block out all sound and sights unrelated to the game, nearly missed it, but he walked out as he noticed the others around him leaving.

He had a basic idea of the lesson, but since this game was new, he'd focused more on that than his first day at Wammy's. Normally, he understood more of the information that somehow seeped its way into his consciousness, but he was lost this time. Maybe that old guy—Roger? He'd never been good with names—was right when he said he needed to pay attention here.

But then again, maybe he could get that blonde kid to teach him. He seemed pretty smart.

He sat at a more-or-less empty table near the back of the lunchroom after getting his food, and briefly glanced at the blonde boy again. He may have been a few tables away, but still noticed Matt the _second _he looked at him, making this obvious by looking back, directly at him, and smirking.

Matt blushed and focused again on eating. He felt as if he'd been caught checking someone out—which he _wasn't,_ he wasn't gay for some guy he didn't even _know. _

That guy he didn't even know whispered something to the people sitting near him, before confidently walking over to Matt, taking a seat across from him at the same table.

_He's… Here? With _me_? Why? _Matt couldn't understand why he'd want to sit by him. He didn't exactly seem the friendly type.

So that he wouldn't be distracted from the boy—he deemed him more important than his game already… That, and he seemed like he might break it if he was paying more attention to it—he shut off the power to the game he had been playing under the table, slipping the DS into his pocket.

Matt blushed as he saw the boy smirk at him, keeping his eyes on _him._ He felt a mix of fear, like the boy was able to see his thought, and embarrassment, as if he was thinking the same kinds of things Matt was thinking about him earlier.

"I like your eyes," the blonde finally said, grinning at him, seeming to actually mean this.

Matt could tell that he was blushing from the comment, and he was very aware of how wide his eyes were from the shock, and how his mouth was open as he gaped at the boy.

"Wh-what? Why would you _say_ that? Why are you even here?" He knew that this was a compliment, but he was used to avoiding people; he'd never been told this before. Sure, it gave him a nice feeling, but it was so _weird _to be told that.

Calmly, the blonde smiled almost mockingly as he shrugged, embarrassing Matt further with this. Of course, _he_ was the only one freaking out over this.

"Because," he finally offered, grinning wider.

_**A/N: Sorry for the abrupt ending, I couldn't think of anything better. Reviews would be lovely. (:**_


	7. Smoking

"Matt," Roger said to the teenage redhead in his office, "This kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. It's filthy, vile, and just plain disgusting, not to mention dangerous."

Matt didn't point out that he'd said the same thing three times, merely shrugging off the repeated accusation. "What can I say? I'm impulsive," he said with a voice that implied it was obvious, and maybe even something to be proud of. "All teenagers are. Hell, at least I haven't "led astray" any of the "young maidens" here." This was said in a highly-mocking tone, accompanied by a smirk.

This, of course, roughly meant "Hey, at least I haven't fucked any chicks, old man, just like you," to Matt, and was basically only a more polite way to say what he meant. This, technically, was true—aside from the girls in his imagination, of course.

To Roger, this meant something completely different. It meant, "I can't control myself, and stop my bad behavior, but at least I haven't influenced any of the girls." This won him over slightly, though it was delivered in a snarky tone, since he had old-fashioned ways.

"Watch your language, Matt," Roger warned again, though he still found Matt a _bit _less of a delinquent, as he'd mentioned that he hadn't corrupted any of the ladies at Wammy's.

"And that may be true, but do you honestly believe that I don't know what you've been doing with Mello?"

Matt's face grew pale, slightly scared for a moment, not so cocky anymore.

Noting his shocked expression, Roger continued.  
That's right. Recently, Near told me the… Activities you boys have been participating in. He knows the rules, unlike you two."

Matt didn't want to think that he'd been found out; he'd _never _been in trouble before, partially because he never got caught and partially because he talked his way out of everything. _Calm down… Focus… _he told himself.

Still… If Near had told on them, then… Maybe he ought to confess. He might get in trouble, but he knew that adults _hated _lying, and if he already knew the truth… It was best to be safe.

"I'm sorry!" he said, "It just… Feels good. We can't keep ourselves from doing it. It's only been a few times…"

"Don't even lie to me, Near says he's seen you do it out behind the building at recess, multiple times. Do you have any idea of the diseases you two could get? It's dangerous, not to mention against the rules."

"Out by the shed? But we've never…" He thought about this, finally coming to a conclusion. He and Roger hadn't been talking about the same thing.

"Oh, so _that's _what you meant… I'm sorry, we'll stop, I promise." He put on his most apologetic, honest look as he said this, trying to get out of any trouble.

Roger looked as if he would do a facepalm from this. "Matt, I've been talking about your smoking. I really don't care about any other things you two do…"

Matt smiled; he was safe.

"Give me the rest of your cigarettes, and you can leave."

Reluctantly, Matt handed over two of the three packs he had with him, hidden in his vest; they were mostly empty anyway, between him and Mello. Besides, they had more in their room, and knew how to sneak out.

"Get out of my office," Roger said, dismissing the sneaky redhead. Matt smiled, hurrying back to his room to tell Mello about how close they had come to being caught. Maybe he should tell Mello to keep it down next time…

Or not. Really, Roger had given them permission, and he would damn sure take advantage of it. Maybe they should be louder tonight, just to spite Near for telling…

"Sounds like a plan," Mello said when Matt repeated his "plan," pushing Matt down onto the bed with a smirk, already stripping off his shirt.

_**Ha, I really like this one. I feel guilty for not really writing these that much anymore, but tell me what you think? (: **_


	8. Names

_**This is made as a parody of names like Mello and Near, ha. And basically based on something my friend and I talked about. Plus boredom. :D**_

__Roger and Wammy were sick of all the strange things the kids were calling themselves. Some were as young as five then they arrived, but it was expected that the smartest kids in the world would have better judgment, even on things such as this.

At first, the kids gave themselves rather tame names; Linda and Jake arrived, deciding to go by normal-sounding names. But then, after a few more years, Mello and Near arrived, calling themselves nonsensical names, seemingly—at least in Mello's case—just to disrupt. It was nearly as bad as the way they constantly argued with each other.

And now, there were kids going as Sparkles, Ninja, and Narwhal. And after a boy decided to call himself "Sex," Roger was forced to explain, rather awkwardly, what sex was to the younger kids—who seemed to already know, anyway, and took delight in the way he stumbled over words, refusing to be mature about it.

No, now there would be a new rule; he couldn't imagine the horrible names some other kids would come up with. Starting with the next kid, he would name them all himself. He didn't need more trouble, and certainly didn't want to go around calling them by the…_imaginative _things the children thought of.

There was a knock at his door, and he wearily answered, "Come in."

A young girl with blonde hair and a multicolored dress walked In, clutching a large stuffed animal.

Roger sighed upon seeing the girl, knowing exactly what to expect by now. "What is it this time?"

The girl took a deep breath before speaking, giving Roger _some _time to brace himself. "It there going to be a new boy? Uni said there would be, can I see him? It's been so long since we got a new kid, especially a boy—"

Roger had to cut her off; he simply couldn't take any more of this mindless, high-pitched noise she called words. "He'll be coming tomorrow. Go play with Unicorn, Rainbow Princess…" The names almost made him wince, and he finally watched the girl leave, waiting for the day she would finally move out and be somewhat-productive in the world.

_Only seven more years, _he thought with a sigh.

Later, a redheaded boy arrived in his office, frantically pressing buttons on a handheld gaming device (he never could keep track of the various models) before slipping it into his pocket, the noises quieting, much to Roger's gratitude. As soon as the noises stopped, Roger said, without a change in expression—he always had the same bored look, as if the years of dealing with children had crushed his soul—"Your name is now Matt."

The boy made a sour face, shaking his head. "I want to be Zelda," he said, rather forcefully.

Roger shook his head, glad he finally had the chance to reject yet another (in his opinion, which of course, he thought was correct, compared to these children) horrible name. "You'll be known as Matt."

The boy thought for another moment before saying, "Only if you get me all the games and systems I ask for." He seemed to think he was quite clever for thinking this up.

Roger groaned at this, however, but agreed; it was better than referring to him as "Zelda." After he directed the smirking redhead to his room, he watched to boy leave, starting up his game again, not knowing he would still be in debt ten years later.


End file.
